20 Candles

I was writing a check out at Longs....
I innocently asked the clerk what today's date was....
and she innocently answered: may 16
two words
and the floor fell out from beneath me
and my mind flew into math mode
and my heart stopped beating
at least it felt that way
i couldn't take a deep breath
my hand shook as i returned my checkbook to my purse
i choked out a 'thank you' and somehow made it to my car
you would have been 20 today
20
how did that happen?
how did i go on breathing 7201 days since you took your last breath?
why did my heart continue to beat
when yours wasn't allowed to?
and how did your 99 day old life...change mine forever?
i remember your curly hair...people making coments about it
i remember your chocolate dark eyes...always watching me..do you still watch me?
i remember your cry, although not much of it
as i tried every chance i got to quell it
i remember how you felt in my arms
i've never never stopped loving you
missing you
needing you
our family has a 'gregory shaped hole' in it
and i long for the day when i can see you again
will you know me?
just look for the mom
with the gaping hole in her heart